Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (3D)

'Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge': Misadventure on the high seas (Review By Subhash K. Jha ; Rating: **)

Welcome back. You would like to say to the whimsically tipsy Jack Sparrow. But the fifth instalment of "The Pirates Of Caribbean" is abysmally short of breath. Huffing and puffing through a glorious alcove of gargantuan gags, none very amusing or inspiring, you crave for the pleasures of watching uncluttered humane stories about Man, Woman and Crisis.

This is a misbegotten franchise, a misadventure on the high seas of epic proportions.

The fifth instalment lays it on thick. The narrative provides no reprieve from the forced farcical sense of fury unleashed. The protagonist, a pirate on a rampage on the high seas, remains true to his character: A sodden anti-hero brutishly vile and unlikeable. We first see Sparrow (Depp) locked in a bank vault with a woman. The stunt that follows culminates in him tied down to a guillotine alongside a young woman accused of witchcraft.

The atmosphere is eclectic rather than electric. The thrills cry for a view of the valour that medieval heroism once promised. Alas, this tawdry film invents the most absurd pretexts for Depp to remain drunken and damaged beyond repair.

One of the pleasures of watching this oceanic catastrophe in Hindi is to hear Arshad Warsi give voice to Jack Sparrow, the whimsical pirate with drinking issues who slurs his way through some of the most politically incorrect remarks ever made by mankind. One of the gags is to call the film's young spirited heroine, a working woman named Karina Smith (Kaya Scodelario), a "dhande wali", which could mean a prostitute.

That's right. You got it. This film revels in iconoclastic humour, none of it exceedingly humorous. A torpidity paralyses the film's epic design, rendering the amplified sequences of high-sea adventure into bouts of burlesque which leave us cold and unmoved.

It's sad to see the formidable Javier Bardem reduced here to a ghost of his imposing self -- literally. Bardem plays a dead villain. He and his pirate army of dead spirits are shot in a wave of stylish special effects suggesting a profound link between morality and enigma. But the representation of dead villainy barely moves beyond the sketchy and satirical.

The film is tiresomely bloated in plot. There are two young people seeking a resting ground for their unfulfilled relationship with their parents. Not one moment captures any genuine emotion. It is all like watching reflections of towering architecture in shimmering water. Nothing is tangible or real enough to be celebrated as a franchise-come-of-age. This one makes you wish the dead would remain that way. Afterlife can be awfully painful and pretentious.

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'Pirates Of The Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge': Familiar yet entertaining (Review By Troy Ribeiro ; Rating: ***)

In keeping with the franchise's theme and tone, "Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge", the fifth instalment in the series is close to its first film "The Curse of the Black Pearl".

A chaotically high-strung action drama, Salazar's Revenge is not the perpetually drunk swashbuckler Jack Sparrow's story, but in reality it is Henry Turner's story. It is a new adventure with many of the same formulaic elements like ghost ships, the walking dead and hidden treasure.

The narrative begins with the 10-year-old Henry sneaking out of his house with an ancient map in search of his father, the pirate Will Turner (Orlando Bloom).

Henry goes into the depths of the ocean, only to find his dad imprisoned in his ship, by a curse. He tells his father that he has found a way to break his curse and would free him from his ship. Will Turner, though touched, does not believe his son and orders him to leave and never come back.

Nine years later, the tale proceeds to reveal how Henry (Brenton Thwaites) fulfils the promise he made to his father.

This film also subtitled as "Dead Men Tell No Tales", comes alive, when Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem), the zombie rival of Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) and the leader of a gang of buccaneers in various degrees of decay, explains in between the gushes of blood oozing from his mouth, he always leaves one survivor to pass along his legendary exploits simply because, "Dead men tell no tales!"

The film, scripted by Jeff Nathanson and directed by the Norwegian duo Joaquim Ronning and Espen Sandberg, is a blockbuster. Though strewn with glaring cinematic liberties and strappings of a typical Hollywood opus, they manage to mount a fun filled, spectacular, fantasy, adventure story packed with visual delights and chaotic chases. So what if you have seen variations of these action sequences in earlier editions or other films.

But what is lacking in this edition is novelty. Exhaustion seems to have set in, especially with the character - Jack Sparrow. Though Johnny Depp, with his buffoonery, delivers some rather funny moments, he can't resurrect the character completely. Nevertheless, it is the other characters that keeps this edition afloat.

Brenton Thwaites as Henry is charming yet bland. His chemistry with Kaya Scodelario who plays Carina Smyth the astronomer who is mistaken for a witch and is hunted, is non-existent. Kaya attractive and appealing offers a notable performance.

Javier Bardem, who tries to match Depp in histrionics, is not skilled enough to make Salazar a memorable villain. He oscillates between fearsome and comical, making his character almost a caricature.

The film boasts of some neatly mounted visual touches. The Computer Generated Images and the 3D effects are noteworthy and they seem to be the highlight of this edition.

Overall, despite the familiarity coupled with the law of diminishing returns to some extent, the film does offer a few hours of entertainment.