How and where does one begin to describe the infinite satisfaction of watching a film that emerges from the closet with some arresting and disturbing home-truths on what goes on when the lights are off? Tiptoeing through the darkest corridors of the human heart, director Onir in I AM comes up with four stories on the question of individual, sexual and geo-political identity.
There are no happy beginnings or endings for any of the four protagonists in I AM. Each one creates a universe of sublime sorrow spearheaded by an inability to … well, fit in.
Squares among circles? So be it. Onir revels in creating damaged but empathetic worlds for his four heroes. No, these are super-heroes in their resilience and determination to tackle discrimination without succumbing to their internal injuries.
When Afia in the first story, played by the Nandita Das, asks her buddy Juhi Chawla if she`d lend her brother for some serious sperm banking, Juhi, who we get to know in the next story is Megha reclaiming her heritage in Jammu and Kashmir, walks away in disgust. We can`t. We don`t want to.
Artificial insemination gets a cinematic treatment in the story as Nandita meets her sperm donor (Purab Kohli in a timid mode). As they speak gently into the night, a warm fertile relationship grows between them in the fertility clinic. No they don`t fall in love. Where is the space for that to creep in?
The punctuations in the first story are bolder, more aggressive than the other three, as though Onir wanted to get all the `cinema` in his film out of the way as early as possible.
For the second story I Am Megha, Onir takes his compelling drama of the damned to Jammu and Kashmir. The location is treacherously pretty. The dreaded M-word stalks the streets with unrelenting impunity. Here under the shadow of militancy, two dignified women, one a Kashmiri Pundit (Juhi) and the other a local Muslim (Manisha Koirala), interact with restrained annoyance. They are upset and angry. But they won`t colour the ambience with their prejudices.
Thanks to Juhi and Manisha, who play out the Ingmar Bergmanesque drama in the deceptive tranquility of the valley, I Am Megha comes to life as a chamber-piece set in the outdoors.
The third story I Am Abhimanyu on child abuse is understandably a portrait of acute complexities brought to a virile fruition by the director`s determined evasion of any self-pity in the abused child`s character. Rather, Abhimanyu (Sanjay Suri) grows up as quite a manipulator, not sure of his sexual preferences but sure that he`d milk the ambivalence of his tortured past for all that it`s worth.
Amazingly Onir goes through the three phases in Abhimanyu`s life, as the abused child going on to a manipulative adolescent and thence to whining adulthood, in just about 15-20 minutes of playing-time. Portable epic, indeed!
This story also has the most intriguing array of actors, from Suri to Zain Salam as the adolescent Abhimanyu to Anurag Kashyap as the sexual molestor, to Shernaz Patel as the mother in denial and Radhika Apte as Suri`s bohemian sounding-board who knows she may not be able to have sex with the man she so openly loves because of his tortured past.
The sexual candour of this episode makes for remarkable viewing. Onir desists from making any judgement on those who scar the wounded.
The rawest, most guttural and devastating story is saved for the last. I Am Omar is a story straight out of every gay person`s favourite nightmare. While making out in a car with his newly-acquired partner Omar (Arjun Mathur), Jai (Rahul Bose) is accosted by a vulgar homophobic cop.
Abhimanyu Singh as the cop on the bawdy beat comes up with the most bludgeoning performance in the film. His filthy language and his even filthier intentions towards the cowering gay man are brought out by the actor with a ferocity and clarity that provide an entirely new definition to credible characterization.
This story is shot with the quivering conviction of a crime reporter with a video camera who has suddenly chanced on a scene of atrocity that far exceeds his call of duty. The enormity of the crime is represented in the beads of sweat that appear on the brow of the victim of the police atrocity. Rahul is full of righteous damnation.
I Am can happen to anyone who doesn`t conform. The isolation of the unorthodox is palpable in every precious breath that the four-storeyed tale takes. The quartet of stories is backed by the most wonderful team of actors and technicians. These are not happy stories. How can they be when the people in them are so intrinsically unhappy?
The challenge for Onir is to make his tortured characters acclimatized to their pain and suffering without making them look like resigned victims.
Though all four stories are shot by one cameraman Arvind Kannabiran, each one conveys its own mood, texture and urgency. Though all are joined at the hip, each story has its own unique rhythm. There are no empty symbolic gestures of reconciliation in this world of disaffected derelicts.
Each protagonist carries his burden of guilty and grief to the last.
There is no getting away from the despair. But there is no sense of pessimism in the telling of the stories. That`s the beauty of this little gem of a film. You get affected. But you don`t lose hope. At the end of the tunnel there is a beam of light. You can`t miss it.
I AM is about issues and dilemmas that bruise the modern Indian society. Unravelling and exploring these tribulations, the film unfolds many a tale of individuals struggling to find their identity, and uphold their dignity in a world that is callous, cold and unsympathetic.
Shot in four different cities across India, I AM is a fusion of stories where the protagonists share a common dream – a desire to regain their lives, to regain an identity which has been taken away from them.